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  • Susie van Nieuwenburg

Resistance. Why do we create it?


What is resistance and why do we experience it?


Resistance Occurs when our Expectations do not meet our Experiences.


We all have our own window through which we see the world. We have all experienced, probably far too often, moments when our window is too narrow. In our mind we have planned out how events were supposed to unfold. To our surprise this rarely happens in the way we planned, does it? Anything that does not match our window upsets and disturbs us and creates resistance.


The probability that events do not match with what we are looking for through our window is very high. Meaning that the probability of finding what makes us happy is small and the probability of continuously finding what makes us happy is pretty much nil. Why do we set ourselves up for disappointment? No wonder that we create resistance to avoid continuous disappointment and rejection.



Each person has both feminine and masculine energy. Feminine energy is focused on ourselves and the emotions within us. Masculine energy is focused outwards; to events that happen in our environment.

We can control to a certain degree the feelings we hold within ourselves, what actions we take, how we respond, what feels right or not. We have the freedom to decide about this, meaning, therefore, that we feel in control.

However, we can rarely control the world around us. We cannot control how others respond to our proposals, what makes others happy or said. Outcomes are never guaranteed. However, our mind constantly creates scenarios over and over again on how things should unfold for us to be happy and contented.



Why does our happiness so often depend on those factors that we can’t control?


Why do we believe in our mind that we can control situations and the behaviour of other people? More importantly why do we want to?


Humans show resistance, because they want control. Why do we want control?

We only need control when we do not fully trust that the potential outcome is right for us.


Why do we lack this level of trust? The key indicator that influences our ability to trust to the extent that we don’t require control anymore is FEAR.


What happens if outcomes are different from what you expected?

This is often when the ego takes over and our minds start to worry about others’ reactions. How will others respond to you? How will you be viewed or judged by colleagues, friends or loved ones? This uncertainty creates huge pressure within the mind which often results in thinking you aren’t good enough, you haven’t lived up to expectations and you begin to question yourself over and over again. In other words, you can experience a lack of trust and confidence in your own judgement; you want back control! When you take control you believe you can influence outcomes and avoid not entering a situation in which you are rejected.


Lacking trust in one’s own judgement and wanting to take back control is driven by an underlying fear and a never ending circle in which many of us are trapped. I have been caught in this seemingly inescapable situation for a large part of my life. Finally I am breaking free. So what is the secret?


Unfortunately, I don’t think there is a defined set of rules, a magic tick box exercise or a “one size fits all” process.

It is, moreover, a journey of individual transformation, a journey of surrender with a deep level of trust that comes from within. It is a process whereby we are able to let go of this “nagging” inner voice and release the doubt, the fear and the resistance that holds us back.


The ability to surrender to the beautiful energy of trust, trust in the universe, trust in that we are always looked after and guided is a deep, indescribable heart-felt emotion. Discovering trust is discovering the hidden real “you”.


It was deep meditation and Theta Healing that helped me achieve this inner trust. Theta Healing led me to overcome the limiting beliefs of the subconscious; it dispelled fear and doubt; it made me more self-assured and confident; it allowed me to open up and listen to my heart and take time for myself to do what I felt guided to do.

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