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  • Susie van Nieuwenburg

Avoid conflict in your relationship


Today’s article is about what creates conflict in a relationship, how we can avoid this and the role the inner voice plays by creating conflict.


Let’s start with a brief explanation of the inner voice. What do we mean exactly when we talk about the inner voice?


Do you ever recall having conversations in your head with a different part of yourself? For example, if you’re going on a date and you want to impress this person, your inner voice will go over all kinds of different scenarios that could happen. How will your date react to what you’re wearing? Will you be good enough? Will you be meeting his/her expectations? What happens if we don’t hit it off? All these conversations in your head are conversations fed by your inner voice.


How often is this voice actually right? How often does a situation unfold exactly how your inner voice told you it would? The answer is that it rarely does because we can’t foresee how other people are going to respond. Everybody has free will.


Why do we have these conversations in our head? It is because most of us are constantly analysing situations in our mind. As a result, guidance from our intuition is blocked and doesn’t get through to us. If you’re not familiar with a particular situation, your inner voice will try to keep you from venturing into the unknown. It comes up with all sorts of ideas on how the new situation could be risky or not good for you. It wants to keep control to secure safety and survival.


However, wanting to control a situation usually has the opposite effect. Control restricts freedom, it prevents people from following their intuition and hinders better decision-making. It shares an energy that lacks trust and it prevents the flow of new ideas.


Wanting a situation to go a certain way or a person to behave in a particular manner also comes back to control and it is a key driver of conflict.


Do you like being controlled by your partner?

No, of course not! People often perceive it as not being good enough or maybe even a threat to their freedom. These things easily result in conflict with others or conflict within themselves.


How can we make our relationships more loving?


If the inner voice is a root cause that creates conflict, we must address the issue of becoming aware of our conversations with our inner voice. Instead of rationalising this and responding with your mind, I would like to invite you to connect with your feelings.


The conscious mind is often a distraction that blocks the answers. When we take time for ourselves, we start to acknowledge how we really feel. We allow our brainwaves to slow down, our heart sphere to open up and we are more open to listen to our intuition. This allows for new perspectives that can offer solutions to situations without needing control or changing behaviour from others in order for us to feel good.


This week I talk about this topic in detail when I was interviewed by Relationship Coach Zack Olinger. Click HERE for the interview.


If this resonates with you and you’d like to know more, I invite you the MASTERCLASS on Sunday night 12 September at 7 pm BST. Click this LINK to sign up.

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